Fuck everything

And every one.

I have not one piece of sanctuary in my life.
My mother’s abuse has grated on me for too fucking long,
my rapist is actively trying to infiltrate my friend group and fucking have me crucified,
and the one person who I thought was sanctuary from this living hell has done nothing
but reinforce my triggers and through that perpetuate my abuse.
My doctor is one of my abusers, someone I am dependent on for the foreseeable future. 

Everything that comes out of my mouth is just black fluid;
a soup of everything that has died inside of me.
A never ending fount of sticky, inky pain that spews forth every time I try to speak.
Or even just to take a breath. 

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