:(

Peter is gone two weeks. It gives me a sad. 

Yesterday I admitted to him that I would marry him in a heartbeat. He has been a little anxious lately, just outside stresses, I guess. But I can tell that it was putting a lot of doubt in his head. Who could blame him though. It IS really intimidating. So much change is happening but there is also so much commitment. We both KNOW that we’re going to be building a future. It’s glorious. But so scary!

I met his sister today and her fiance. I think she may be pregnant (gut feeling). I really liked her, she had a beautiful house. Her house was perfect for what I would like to have in the next 5 years. Absolutely. Perfect for dinner parties.

My mom still hasn’t left me alone. I had to resort to shutting my door for her to leave me alone. She still walks by and passive aggressively shit talks me to the dog or loudly complains about me on the phone. She tried to tell me I was the one who had something wrong with me and that I’m projecting on HER. I thought that was fucking rich. She told me I was changing. Yes, I am. I’m cutting the fucking apron strings and not allowing her to perpetuate her unhealthy behaviour. I can tell it unnerves her and she tries to justify it with “Oh, she’s getting into drugs.” or “Oh, she is changing…” but I’m just done with her shit. So, naturally, she reacts by acting like a child and having a temper tantrum. I know over time she’ll get it out of her system and be compliant, much like a child. Speaking of childish, she resorted to threatening to tell the doctor that I cut myself because it’s not normal and she wants to get me in trouble. She is so petty, she even used my own words to describe her against me, as if I wouldn’t notice. She hasn’t had an original thought in her head for the last 10 years. She keeps holding money over my head, saying I better do blank or else she won’t do blank. I honestly could not give a fuck. I’m leaving one way or another. I have options. I appreciate her help, I need her help, but I’m not afraid to do it on my own. It has always been a fucking option. She needs to stop acting like her good deeds make her manipulative and abusive behaviour completely fine. 

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